We are still in Beta.

Sometimes we forget about God’s love. We forget he is there. Sometimes we lose sight of him and need to reconnect but just can’t. Yet it is always there. He is always there. It might be hard to tell but deep down he is. But it can be really really really deep
like…. a waterfall in the distance you have lived by your entire life, and so you forget about it. About the sound. It is the constant sound of crashing water, pounding over and over. Occasionally you go to visit the waterfall in order to remind yourself it is there. Then, for a day, a week, a month, a year, or more… you remember. You can’t forget because you saw it. So you continue your life thinking about it, till it fades day by day, and soon you question if it’s real at all. Then, one day, somehow, you forget. It just blurs into the background of your life and soon it disappears. Or so you think. The sound dissipates into the deep recess of your mind but it is still there; it just has become so commonplace that you ignore it. And even though its still there, you forget it. Because it is so normal, so indiscreet, so natural, you forget. Then one day it becomes new again. Maybe someone mentions it to you, “Hey have you been to the waterfall in awhile?” they ask. Or maybe you just happen to stumble closer one day. Other times the flow of the river increases so it crashes louder and louder till you can’t help but ask “What is that sound?” So you go looking, and soon you are at the foot of a thundering waterfall again.

So just remember. When you can’t feel him. When you can’t see him. When you can’t hear him. He is there. His love is guiding you, calling you, always with you. You just have to remind yourself.

Hear the rumble.

Listen for the roar.

For God is waiting.

Don’t shut your ears.

Or close your heart.

Seek him.

Listen for him.

Find the roar.

Find the falls.

Find God.

Again.

This verse I just came across tonight in my own personal Bible Study that I believe should really hit home with every Bible College and Seminary student out there.

“You search the Scriptures because you believe they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me so that I can give you this eternal life.”  -John 5:39-40 NLT

Wow. “You search the scriptures because you believe they give you eternal life. BUT the scriptures point to me!”

Isn’t that amazing? And yet how often do we get to caught up in studying the word thinking it will lead us to eternal life. How stupid are we? The scriptures DO lead us to eternal life. They lead us to JESUS. The scriptures point to Him. Stop studying the Bible and start reading God’s love letter to us. Stop analyzing scripture and start realizing his passion for you. Quit unpacking the “truth” of the word and start realizing the truth. Shut up, and praise God.

As I finish my second day of class at Multnomah I find myself asking a few questions. Mostly… why?

Why am I attending a University in order to “learn” how to be a pastor. AKA. Why do I have to “learn” how to love people. Why do I have to “learn” how to be used by God. I feel I should be able to just up and go. I mean… can’t anyone be used by him no matter what place they are in?

I guess that’s a moot point. I know I’m supposed to be at Multnomah right now.  Along with that Jesus spent time learning. I mean how long was his ministry for? A few years right? And how long did he study? Basically since he was born.

So… with that said I plan to really focus on my teachings and work hard so I can be used even more effectively by God.

Anyway, off to study!

School is working out. I had to call two days ago though and tell them I can’t stay in the dorms. I would LOVE to stay in the dorms but I just can’t afford an extra $6000 a year. Nonetheless I am going and will be staying with my grandparents who live about 3 miles away until further notice.

With that said I am very excited. I had my first day of orientation today and I feel this is definitely where I am supposed to be now. I met a lot of new people and began building friendships very quickly and can’t wait till classes start. The only issue is still the money.

Currently I will be working 25 hours a week (or as many as possible) in order to pay for school. At this many hours a week and with what I currently have in the bank and whatnot I will just be scrapping by. No eating out, no movies, no gas money, no dates, etc. etc. I plan on biking everywhere currently as there is no alternative. I did it all last year so hopefully this will work out.

My current plan is to attend Multnomah for a year and then attend Northwest University in Seattle next year. If I get a 3.0 GPA (grade point average) this year at Multnomah and transfer to Northwest next year I will get an automatic $6000 scholarship. Along with that they already gave me a $9500 scholarship. This means that though Northwest is more expensive ($22360 a year without room + board) it will end up being cheaper to attend than Multnomah.

Along with this I have been offered the potential of an internship up there by my old pastor who will be planting a church there. Hopefully that will actually work out and I will be able to move up there next year and flawlessly begin my career in ministry.

Of course this is all a dream. I still have a year of working 25 hours a week, going to school full time, biking between 10-15 miles a day, and trying to maintain a life. Nobody said it would be easy.

Nonetheless I trust God and am extremely excited. If you think about me in the upcoming months… please pray for me.

Otherwise. Keep following my blog for hopefully some updates.

I’m going to school. Multnomah Bible University to be exact. I feel God is calling me to attend and begin learning what a University has to say about Pastoral Ministry. Whether or not I stay and finish 4 years their for a Pastoral Ministry Degree or not is completely up to him. As for now I must say I am very excited. The college has approximately 600 undergrads and 260 postgraduates. I will be living on campus and will continue to work at Next Adventure, God will and schedule willing.

I’m very very excited about this and yet I am nervous at the same time. I don’t have the money figured out. I don’t really know if I want to be a pastor. I don’t know anyone there. I don’t know if I can handle going to school full time and trying to work at Next Adventure as much as possible. I don’t know if I will be able to handle a year at school and work while Annie is all the way across the state. But… BUT… I have faith. Faith that God will provide for me. Provide strength, peace, determination, and the funds to go. Faith that he will grow Annie and my relationship and faith that I have chosen the right path. Faith.

So if you would all join me in prayer it would be amazing. Pray that God will continue to lead me and guide me on this wonderful journey called life. Pray that I will not worry. And, pray that I will grow in faith.

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

P.S. Everytime I go to quote Matthew 6:25-34 I always want to just use part… but I can’t help but be in awe of it all as a passage together. I love it.

The worst part about riding 10 mile each way… isn’t the unexpected downpours… or the time it takes…. or how tiring it is…. but it’s having to pee 5 miles in. 5 miles in is the worst part cause you really have no choice but to keep going. Heck it’s just as bad realizing it 1 mile from leaving… I mean really there is no choice. I can’t just pull into a resteraunt or anything.. unless I have a bike lock so I am forced to bike… yet if I bike faster…. I have to pee more… and if I bike slower.. it takes longer… AHHHH…. pretty soon you are ready to explode and just find yourself counting 1 . . 2 . . 3 . . 4 . . just to get your mind off it. So ya… the worst part about biking 10 miles… is having to pee part way in.

And then I realized that God was sitting right next to me, on the night-train to the inner-city streetlights, talking on his cellphone to his son, like any other father come home from a day at the office - the kind with fluorescent lights and cubicles. …I guess he does some sort of counseling thing - or at least that’s what he told me when I asked him if wanted some gum….didn’t ever know God liked Juicy Fruit…. He told me he spends 168 hour weeks telling people that their problems are his problems, and he loves it. So I took a side look at him like I looked at the guy who was yelling something about hell and damnation through this bullhorn in Time Square, and asked him if he was crazy, or just didn’t know any better. And he laughed - he just laughed….said he just has this thing for people…..and I told him that was alright, if you like it - no one argues with a man who wants to do his part…. And he laughed again and told me about the other work he does…I guess the Universe needs hedge-trimming once in a while…… And then he asked me my name…. And he said, “Tell me about yourself. I want to know it all.” So I gave him my life - bit of a story, too…… He tells me his kid is doing well.

written by Josh Gilman

October 11, 2009

I’m currently sitting at the Seattle Seatac airport and my plane boards in 45 minutes. That’s right. I’m off to Europe. My plane leaves at 4:30 and I won’t be back to Vancouver until May 13th at 5:30am. Till then read all about my travels at www.zippee.info I’ll try and update as much as possible. Till then, see ya!

I shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

Really I shouldn’t. Despite the fact that I’m a very bad driver I have this bad habit of being distracted to easily. It’s ok though… it’s not my fault; it’s Gods.

Yes. That’s right. God!

For example tonight when driving Riley to his girlfriends house I kept having to remind myself to look at the road and not out over the beautiful lake at the bright pink and orange and red pastel sunset.

Or take when I have a really really good day for example. Obviously if I’ve had a really good day I can hardly control myself, and when I crank that worship music super loud and start singing along I can’t help but close my eyes and praise God…. WOOPS! Better open them!

Then there are the animals of the wild that I can’t help but be excited about. Just the other day while driving home from Cameron and Kate’s wedding I happened to see a coyote running across the road. So what did I do? I followed it for as long as I could!

What else? Oh the STARS! How many times have I been distracted by the amazing display of shining, twinkling lights vividly displayed up in the sky along with a picturesque moon? More than I can count.

There are rivers, and trees, clouds, rain, rainbows, really windy days I just have to roll the windows down for, sunrises, sunsets and countless other things. But none of these compare to the biggest distraction God has given me.

The most beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing thing in the world happens to be what sits right next to me every once in a while when I drive.

This can be none other than her, my girlfriend, Annie.

I just decided God is an amazingly fast sketch artist.

Look at it this way. Video is multiple frames moving fast enough for our brains to render them as motion. That’s how stop motion animation works. You take a picture, then another, then another, and another, each time barely moving the object or the picture you’ve drawn. Then when played back at 24 frames per second or faster your brain runs it together as motion. So I believe all God is doing is sketching life at 24 fps or faster. Every time someone moves, every time something shifts, or a car pulls away from a stop sign, God is redrawing that picture.  Think about it. Then think about this, the wind you feel… that’s God’s breath, when he’s rushing and doesn’t want the ink to smear; he blows on his picture. Once it dries he draws the next picture and it takes the place of the previous one.

This also happens to explain why some days feel slower than others, and some days feel faster than others. The slow days are when God has hand cramps and has to slow down. Basically our world, our movie is running at less than 24 fps. The fast days is when God is whipping out those images at a super high frame rate.  Of course, the more you move the faster he has to draw and thus the faster the day goes, and thus why your movement causes the day to go by faster.
With that said I believe God is an amazingly fast sketch artist, and the beauty in the world really comes when humans rest enough for him to put beauty in the world. When we slow down, he can elaborate; paint sunsets, draw rainbows, and add color and sensation.

So, next time you want a beautiful day. Slow down. It will help God out!